Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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