She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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