i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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