Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
