Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
being pregnant is like rehab
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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