I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
