CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
