Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
