I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
