Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
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Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
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Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize