somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
