Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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