I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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