He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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