We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
