Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Randomize
