he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
