Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
All the doctor said was why
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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