she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
