just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
