I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
