You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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