john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize