Its about making memories worth repressing
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Dicks are not precious.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
