Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
