Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Randomize
