areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
