I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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