Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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