My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
