Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Did I show you my penis last night?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
