so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
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Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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