I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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