you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
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I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
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It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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