I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
