what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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