I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
