i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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