I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
