I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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