She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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