worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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