drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
