there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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