at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
