Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize