can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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