Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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