Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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