Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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