I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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