this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
