Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Houston, we have a squirter
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
