Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
