why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
