I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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