he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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