think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he was CRYING into my vagina
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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