You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
