were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
